We all have those hurts that are held on to in our thoughts and heart. For some of us, we can not get away from the recurring thoughts that play over and over again in our minds. We call them the woulda, coulda, shouldas…
We could of done this instead…we should of…we would do this differently…revolving on an endless loop in our minds and hearts. We would give anything to try again. We would do anything to get another shot. And, many of these hurts were not even our fault. Something happened that was beyond or control or a decision was made that we had to abide by. We were powerless. This is the most insidious scenario because there is nothing we did to deserve the hurt, so how can we change the outcome? But, we still play it over and over again.
The scenario where we did make a conscious choice to go down a road that had the potential to end badly is where we beat ourselves up the most…because we are convinced on some level that we can go back and make a new choice getting a new outcome. However, it still does not guarantee an outcome that will be beneficial to all.
We put our faith and trust in a person or situation that let us down. They just did…bringing there own hurt and fears into the situation that ended up impacting you negatively….The relationship that took you out at the knees or the job that stepped on you or the friend that dissed you or the family that did not value you. These are our traumas and dramas.
The traumas are the hurts that were done to us. We often times do not see them coming. They traumatize us to similar situations allowing for us to be ‘triggered’ when we do experience a similar situation that has us reacting out of character or over the top because of the previous situation. These can keep recurring for a long period of time if we do not take a look at our decision making and recurring negative patterns in our lives.
The dramas are the stories that we tell ourselves that keep us playing small: not good enough, smart, talented, thin, educated, etc. We create these stories when we other’s tell us or make us feel these certain ways often over a period of time. We internalize these negative feelings because if they say it or do it, it must be so. Often these patterns and stories are created at an early age. It takes years and much reflection to be able to identify them and thus heal them.
Traumas and dramas are a part of every psyche as human beings as we are here to grow and evolve. We cannot do this if we do not step back and reflect on and identify the self-sabotage that we engage in. This takes WORK. There is not way around it and no sugar coating it. We have to do the work to find the inner-happiness and joy that is our right. Yes, I said right! We are here in this life experience at this time to have joy.
- Reflection: journaling, talking, recording…whatever mode of reflection you are drawn to because once you know where you are only then can you change the behavior.
- Therapeutic Care: counseling, psychiatrist, pastor, medical doctor, etc.
- Staying in the Present moment: not dwelling on the past, not projecting into the future.
- Identifying the “ego:” where is fear or fear based thoughts keeping you making the same choices, telling you to stay in the same lane, or making the same choices expecting a different outcome to transform negative energy into neutral or positive energy.
- Identify where on the ‘emotional scale’ you fall: bottom (fear), middle (optimistic), top (positive expectation) to move up the scale towards the top.
It is time to move forward. It is time to be happy. It is time to do the work!
Blessings, M xo
Check out my services tab to learn more about Integrated Energy Therapy® to help you heal your energetic body from traumas and dramas that are locked in at the cellular level to begin to peel back the layers of hurt that is holding you back from experiencing the joy that is your due. M xo