5 Ways to Eliminate Traumas and Dramas

We all have those hurts that are held on to in our thoughts and heart. For some of us, we can not get away from the recurring thoughts that play over and over again in our minds. We call them the woulda, coulda, shouldas…

We could of done this instead…we should of…we would do this differently…revolving on an endless loop in our minds and hearts. We would give anything to try again. We would do anything to get another shot. And, many of these hurts were not even our fault. Something happened that was beyond or control or a decision was made that we had to abide by. We were powerless. This is the most insidious scenario because there is nothing we did to deserve the hurt, so how can we change the outcome? But, we still play it over and over again.

The scenario where we did make a conscious choice to go down a road that had the potential to end badly is where we beat ourselves up the most…because we are convinced on some level that we can go back and make a new choice getting a new outcome. However, it still does not guarantee an outcome that will be beneficial to all.

We put our faith and trust in a person or situation that let us down. They just did…bringing there own hurt and fears into the situation that ended up impacting you negatively….The relationship that took you out at the knees or the job that stepped on you or the friend that dissed you or the family that did not value you. These are our traumas and dramas.

The traumas are the hurts that were done to us. We often times do not see them coming. They traumatize us to similar situations allowing for us to be ‘triggered’ when we do experience a similar situation that has us reacting out of character or over the top because of the previous situation. These can keep recurring for a long period of time if we do not take a look at our decision making and recurring negative patterns in our lives.

The dramas are the stories that we tell ourselves that keep us playing small: not good enough, smart, talented, thin, educated, etc. We create these stories when we other’s tell us or make us feel these certain ways often over a period of time. We internalize these negative feelings because if they say it or do it, it must be so. Often these patterns and stories are created at an early age. It takes years and much reflection to be able to identify them and thus heal them.

Traumas and dramas are a part of every psyche as human beings as we are here to grow and evolve. We cannot do this if we do not step back and reflect on and identify the self-sabotage that we engage in. This takes WORK. There is not way around it and no sugar coating it. We have to do the work to find the inner-happiness and joy that is our right. Yes, I said right! We are here in this life experience at this time to have joy.

  • Reflection: journaling, talking, recording…whatever mode of reflection you are drawn to because once you know where you are only then can you change the behavior.
  • Therapeutic Care: counseling, psychiatrist, pastor, medical doctor, etc.
  • Staying in the Present moment: not dwelling on the past, not projecting into the future.
  • Identifying the “ego:” where is fear or fear based thoughts keeping you making the same choices, telling you to stay in the same lane, or making the same choices expecting a different outcome to transform negative energy into neutral or positive energy.
  • Identify where on the ‘emotional scale’ you fall: bottom (fear), middle (optimistic), top (positive expectation) to move up the scale towards the top.

It is time to move forward. It is time to be happy. It is time to do the work!

Blessings, M xo

Check out my services tab to learn more about Integrated Energy Therapy® to help you heal your energetic body from traumas and dramas that are locked in at the cellular level to begin to peel back the layers of hurt that is holding you back from experiencing the joy that is your due. M xo

How to Stop Sneaky Self-Sabotage

OH Good Lord! I was out with my kid getting breakfast and I walked into the diner and looked around and I caught the eye of an attractive, age appropriate gentleman sitting in the back booth by himself…and the first thought I had was ‘there is nothing here for you.’

After a year of being home, visiting minimally with family and having meetings via Zoom and other social media platforms, being out and actually meeting new people…well, it has been a while. And being single through this has been a challenge. Having my faith, family and fortitude, I have persevered through maintaining connections using text, email and video calls.

However meeting anyone new stopped being a concern, so I put that on hold. And, it seems that staying in my comfort zone brought up old insecurities and fears. My mental body, unconscious part of me came up with a safety mechanism to keep me from triggering the old pattern of unworthiness: not deserving or able to receive love.

Thoughts that we have like the one I had in that split second of eye contact are unconscious ones. On that day, I realized I had been hearing that phrase in my head every time I was making eye contact with an attractive, age appropriate guy because of my deep seeded self-sabotage around meeting eligible men, being loved, or having any positive emotional experience.

UGH! During this past year, I have done a lot of work becoming conscious and healing this part of myself. I have been working on actually manifesting a new positive relationship experience. Realizing that in the past month, the phrase ‘there isn’t anything for you here’ had been coming up each time I was noticed was frustrating and maddening to say the least.

In being able to observe my thoughts, I caught this new self-sabotaging pattern that was emerging. But, where did it come from? So for me, struggling with self-worth has started very young. I did not feel seen or heard from a very young age and that contributed to my inability to be seen or heard for my gifts and talents as I became an adult. My mission became to help everyone else, make sure everyone else was safe and secure, and to give everything I had to make everyone else’s experience the best it could possibly be. I gave way to much of my energy, resources and myself to others. I became the ultimate people-pleaser.

For someone to see me as anything else is uncomfortable. It triggers my fear of not being good enough, pretty enough, societal standard enough, talented enough, quiet enough, _____________________fill in the blank enough.

Because I have been doing the work, to

Recognize,

Release and

Restore myself over this last three years or so, I have been able to quickly identify when I am back sliding into old behaviors and patterns that no longer serve me. We carry many traumas and dramas that take time and layers to heal. This made me stand up and take notice that I still have work to do in my Unworthiness wound.

  • Staying present
  • Observing your thoughts
  • Being honest about why the thoughts are arising
  • Don’t attach any negative emotion to the thought pattern
  • Let the thought go when it arises

These patterns arise because your ‘ego’ is trying to keep you “safe,” unfortunately, its version of safe is the “same.” Where you have been, what your old patterns have been, not where you are going. Staying conscious and present to your thoughts will help you to keep moving forward and not allowing the self-sabotage to win!

Please look at my past blogs on Recognize, Release and Restore for more information on how I have learned to keep working through healing those parts of ourselves that need it.

And, always my Services tab will provide ways to work with me. Blessings, M xo

Release: Any Negative Belief System

How do you let go? You have held on to the idea that someone or something was to blame for your present situation. You were being held back. You were not getting what everyone else was receiving. You were not seen like everyone else. You were not given the accolades, recognition or love that others were so freely receiving. These feelings created resentment, anger and in some cases the desire for revenge. Keeping you from ever being, doing or having what you wanted.

When you have been held back for so long by those in your life who were supposed to support you, love you, and guide you, it is difficult to feel your worth. We all come into life for the sheer joy of being here with our loved ones to learn and grow; however, this is not the case when who we are surrounded in the beginning with childhoods where our care givers are damaged, selfish, unaware, narcissistic or complacent in any way to our needs being met: socially, emotionally, mentally and/or physically.

It would be very easy to lay blame at their feet for all of our decisions and choices that lead to some kind of down fall in our own lives. This can take years, decades and in some cases a lifetime. Letting go of patterns that we develop because of what we are taught or modeled, is very difficult. For some of us it is the “thing” that is holding us back.

Subsequently, society has played a role in our ability to take responsibility for ourselves with having expectations of what you should have, accomplish and be as a “normal standard.” These ideals have propelled us into areas, jobs, relationships that we would not have overwise entertained if we had been allowed to pursue our own path. The pursuit of dreams and goals that were seen as “different,” risky, or not in-line with the expectations was then ridiculed and unsupported.

Letting go of these feelings that were created because of the expectations: familial or societal, can be very scary. When you have held on to blame, shame, anger, resentment or any negative feeling for decades, it becomes the resonance frequency that you are drawing to you. This frequency dictates your experience. Those situations, people, relationships that share the same feeling become your “normal” and to break away from that resonance can create panic in you because your ego wants to keep you safe, creates the feeling of fear when you try to change your experience and move away from this frequency into a higher one through forgiveness and/or gratitude.

Love is the highest frequency. Living in Love will bring you closest to God, manifestation, and living your purpose.

Energy cannot be destroyed it can only be transformed. So, releasing is not just letting go. You have to do something with the emotion, situation or relationship to be free of the negative connotation. And, this will allow you to no longer be triggered to react to these old hurts and traumas.

Disconnecting from the “egoic” mind, dropping into your heart and connecting with your inspiration: spirit inspired action are the ways to release the past and move up the frequency scale. Bringing you into alignment with your “why.” We are all striving for our own version of happiness, but it can never be found outside of ourselves. Releasing our traumas and our dramas will provide the space for the inspiration to be received. This brings us to live from our heart-centered space where through love and compassion for ourselves, everyone around us and situations that need our input, so we can feel the relief from the past traumas and dramas that have held us back.

Practices for raising your vibrational frequency.

  • Staying present. Using your breath to stop the hamster wheel of thoughts: box breathing or Kundalini breathing.
  • Getting into Gratitude for what you do have.
  • Forgiving yourself and others for decisions and actions that were made at that time.
  • Giving yourself permission to have Joy in your life: rest, relaxation, creativity, fun.

For some getting help through therapeutic care, counseling or energy work will be beneficial. Do the work, get the help and know that you are not alone whatever is in your traumas and dramas. It is time to ascend, be buoyant, happy, grounded, safe and living your best life in alignment for what is for you in this life experience at this time.

Blessings, M xo

~check out my services tab for help through connection or healing 🙂

Restore: Bringing You into Alignment

What is Restore?

We grew up in a culture of competition to achieve more and better than your neighbor. We were taught to do better than your parents. We were encouraged to learn more, make more, do more than the generation before you or the neighbor beside you. There was very little room for creating, being or listening. All the ways to connect with the more that was inside of you whispering, nudging and guiding you to what made you passionate, happy and whole. It is time.

Stepping into your Magnificence and connecting with your Divinity or Sovereignty is where we are headed in this time of stepping out of the 3D consciousness. The warlike conflicts and competitive energy is receding and through that we are finding new footing. For thoudands of years, we have allowed division and descent rule how we interacted with each other. From monarchy and democracy, we have prescribed to what we were told to do by others. In this new energy, we are allowed to follow the prescriptions of our soul. We have all we need inside of us: love, compassion, and cooperation with all. Not just all people but all living things: the planet, animals and all life.  Restoring the balance between economic systems, political systems, family systems, ecological systems, and all systems on this spaceship Earth; and ultimately how all this affects the Universe. As we are a small part of a much larger system.

What this system is entirely, we still do not understand all of it or the ramifications that our actions have on it. However, we can control our lives, how we treat others and the environment around us. Restoring our balance emotionally, physically, mentally, and ethereally, we can affect and change our own lives. One by one we affect all that is around us. By living as authentically and balanced as we can, then we can ripple that effect out to those around us that are feeling lost, unbalanced, and unhappy with their surroundings. We may feel that we cannot change anything significantly, but if we change ourselves and be the model of harmony, love, and contentment, then we can change our own environment; thereby affecting the whole.

Breaking down any overwhelming task to individual steps allows us to feel accomplishment that allows us to take the next step in that task and in effect accomplishing the seemingly impossible. All we can ever do is work to be better ourselves, and this example will be the model that others will emulate especially when you are winning, achieving, and gaining all that you want in your life experience, right now.  

  1. Work on having balance: mentally, physically, emotionally, and ethereally
  2. Live in love, compassion and harmony
  3. Set boundaries with those who are not willing to make the changes
  4. Be creative, have joy and be passionate with where you spend your energy
  5. Give where and when you can: money, time and energy

This new energy will take time to embrace. For some it will be so uncomfortable. For others it will be a welcome relief. Staying in compassion with all of those around you, will help you to maintain your peace and balance through these changes. The new earth and new human is being created. Blessings, M xo

Taking time to just “be” brings the most clarity and connection from Source.

Recognize, Release and Restore

Really getting clear with ourselves about our traits, foibles and what makes us who we are….can be revealing. And, not always in a good way because we start to see clearly that the only person standing in our way is us. Hard, hard truth for most of us to come to. We want to blame and play the victim because that validates our ego. The ego that keeps you playing small…keeps you safe…keeps you stagnant because to change is uncomfortable or down right scary depending on the situation.

Dictionary.com’s second definition of victimization is “the act or fact of blaming others for the hardships one encounters in life.” Your ego is so ok with doing this because then it can feel good about its choices and decisions made in almost all situations, relationships and areas of one’s life with no need to take responsibility for any of it. Allow it to land on someone else’s shoulders. Unfortunately, this will never bring you the peace, happiness and alignment with your life’s purpose in this life experience at this time.

For a long time, I blamed family, circumstances and others for the hurt and trauma that I had to overcome. Some of it was justified, however, all of it needed to be forgiven. It was the only way for me to take responsibility for how I was allowing those experiences to affect my decision making. For that I needed to become accountable.

Only through accountability or recognizing my actions could I look at why I was making the decisions that I was making that were keeping my stuck, broke and miserable. Others’ actions were directly impacting my decision making skills and keeping me unhappy, single, bad money management and focusing on jobs that were soul sucking to me. I had to find the secret sauce that would allow me to thrive despite the traumas and abuses that I dealt with for the first two-thirds of my life. I desperately wanted to be happy. I desperately did not want to feel the weight of any of it anymore: hopelessness, lack mentality, low self-esteem, unattractive, and all of the myriad self-sabotaging thought patterns I had always engaged in. Taking this hard look at myself was the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. Figuring out why I did the things I did. It was heartbreaking on so many levels: recognizing who let me down and how. I could only go up from there. And, heal those wounds to have a better day(s).

The releasing was the forgiveness that I had to give everyone, myself included. Not forgiveness of letting anyone off the hook. The forgiveness that is the acceptance of things could not have been other than what they were. Not needing to know the why or the how of all the decisions that negatively impacted my life from all the people who were supposed to love me. The forgiveness allowed me to release the attachment to my ego: the need to be right.

I struggled with this for years. The idea of ‘letting anyone of the hook’ and the anger that I held on to in my justifiable indignation of the hurts and traumas that I had endured, or righteousness was, also, blocking me from living in the freedom that the forgiveness has now produced in my life.

The forgiveness extinguishes the anger like a candle sniffer to a flame. The anger can eat you alive like a fire destroys everything in its wake. Anger eats at you and your ego feeds it from the need of being right or the need to keep you comfortable, playing small in the same pond that you have always been in. And effectively diminishing you, holding you back from the life that you are here to lead. You are in effect blocking your own dreams, wishes, desires and destiny. No one else is. No one is holding you back but you. This is a hard truth pill to swallow. You are the co-creator of your destiny with you higher-power (higher-self, God, your team).

Restoring: it is time to bring yourself into alignment with who you are and why you are having this life experience at this time. We are all here to be happy, to be fulfilled and to realize our dreams. Once you recognized what is holding you back and released your attachment to any egoic outcomes, you are ready to restore yourself to your desired life experience: happiness, fulfilled and in-service. As we are all here to be in-service in some way, it is everyone’s life purpose.

This is a journey with no real destination because as one trait comes up and is transmuted energetically we are taken to another level. This life experience is a journey unto itself. Learning to work this process over and over again brings you to the fulfillment that you seek on every level.

Blessings, M xo

#7, Heart Chakra and Mercury Rx

Number 7 resonates with the vibrations and energies of the ‘Collective Consciousness’, faith and spirituality, spiritual awakening and awareness, spiritual enlightenmentspiritual acceptance and development, mysticism, intuition and inner-knowing, and manifestation.”(http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/2011/06/angel-number-7.html) I was born the 7th month in the 70th year. Seven has always had a lot of meaning for me. Finding the signs and symbols that resonate with you helps you to feel, know and experience spirit communication. We are all being guided to our unique path and it is important to recognize the signs that are leading us into alignment for our soul’s evolution and purpose at this time.

Leading with your heart, having a heart chakra wide open allows us to give love. When you have hurt, loss, heartbreak, it can be very difficult to lead heart wide open. And unfortunately, the only way to heal your heart chakra is to open in back up to give and receive. When you are holding on to grief, loss and hurt of any kind, it is very hard to trust and allow love to flow.

These two signs came to me during this Mercury Rx. Reviewing, revisiting….signs and symbols to lead you to releasing what no longer is for your highest and greatest good. Being mindful, staying aware, and open to synchronicity is very important. Spirit will bring you to it, but it is our awareness and acceptance that allows the connection to be beneficial to our life experience. This connection is very important to our evolution. Pay attention to the signs that you are being given.

We are here to evolve. We are evolving. This retrograde is going to push us out of our comfort zones to really look at those areas that have to be transformed in our lives, or we repeat old patterns and stay stuck in our situations that are not serving us. Subsequently, holding us back from getting to the purpose and happiness that is for us at this time.

The fear energy is powerful right now because the ego creates fear within us when we are trying to do/be something different. The ego identifies with safety. Different is seen as unsafe because it is not the expected, norm or known. However, we are not here to stay the same. We are here to evolve, so being uncomfortable is going to trigger the ego, or fear to try and keep us down, same old same old, and creating the same environments because familiar is safe.

It’s time to get uncomfortable. Releasing the negative self-talk, old patterns, sameness. Doing this is scary. Having a guiding system helps to know that you are safe in your “new” choices and directions. This is your connection to your Divinity: soul, higher-self, guides, angels, archangels, ascended masters, star mothers or whatever you are comfortable calling it. (They are ok with whatever you choose.)

Ways to get in alignment: meditation, breathing, tapping, energy healing (Reiki, IET, Unity Field Healing, etc.), intuitive coaching, reading/watching helpful others (Dyer, Tolle, Chopra, etc.) and listening/going within. Believing what you are experiencing is real.

Know that you are not alone in the evolution or in this life experience. This shift in consciousness is about becoming in-tune with love and the love within. Healing the human hurts/traumas opens up your heart chakra and raises your vibration to receive the love.

Every Mercury Rx breaks us open, some more than others and all in different signs that bring up different lessons…each and every time to evolve and teach us the next lesson or step to take us to alignment for our purpose here at this time in the earth plane of existence.

Check out my Services tab if you need coaching, guidance or classes. Blessings, M xo

8 Steps to Getting Out of Your Own Way

Many years ago I started on a road that has lead me on a journey of self-discovery. The hardest part has been to be able to be vulnerable with myself. Really getting honest about how I felt and my choices. It has been messy, ugly and terrifying most of the way. I had to assess why I made the choices I made and what was the catalyst for those choices. And at some point it had to be me….not others, not family, not relationships, not circumstances…but “me.” I had to say, “I did this.” Because, let’s face it, we all can play the blame game. But, it is through getting clear of blame and getting real with ourselves we can then become a new, more aware version of our former selves: the New Human.

We are all, in some way, being pushed into an awareness that there is more. More to this life existence then just living to die. We are here to become realized, aware, conscious co-creators of our experience in this life at this time in Earth’s evolution. However, we can not do this if we keep our limited beliefs and old stories to remain the way we live our lives today. It has shifted. We are evolving. We are being brought into awareness. The ego driven way of believing, knowing, and acting are the old system. The new day is dawning.

Healing the fear based emotions. Recognizing and releasing what is holding you back individually is affecting the whole. Like a ripple in the water after one pebble is thrown. Our individual healing, awakening, becoming conscious co-creators one person at a time will have the biggest impact over time. How do we do this?

Starting were you are at. Only focused on you. This is a very individual process. Some would say lonely. Finding like minded people helps. Finding materials to support you helps. Finding your connection to your Higher-self is key. Developing intuition, opening your third eye, trusting your feelings because what you are experiencing is real and true. Learning discernment is important. However, in this new energy, becoming high vibrational will keep you protected as you will work with only matching frequencies on the other side of the veil: ascended masters, archangels, guides and loved ones.

The healing the emotional body is what effectively raises your vibration. Abraham, as channeled by Esther Hicks has given us this information in the way of an Emotional Chart with all Fear at the bottom and all Love at the top. By bringing ourselves as close to love as we can, we can become closer to the Divine; and also tap into the divinity that is within each and everyone of us.

We chose to be here at this time. We chose to do the work, be the way showers, and help those around us through our vibrational frequencies, and not just people, but to help the planet, animals and all the eco-systems…big work!

Steps to start:

  1. Journal about your relationships: identify self-limiting beliefs
  2. Use positive affirmations, sound healing frequencies, and tapping techniques
  3. Start a Gratitude Journal: for 21 days list 10 things you are grateful for (a different ten each day).
  4. Forgiveness: finding and giving it to yourself and others
  5. Getting a therapist or counselor, medical advice and/or energy healing: Reiki, IET, Unity Field Healing, etc.
  6. Finding Compassion for yourself and others
  7. Reading inspirational material and using guided manuals for the process
  8. Finding a like minded group: in-person or virtually

If you are looking for direction, help and guidance, please check out melissaLwatkins.com/services.

Blessings, M xo

Beacon of Light

Today is a day of reflection. Only through reflection can we know where we are going. Take time to look at what has been, recognizing, realizing an learning what doesn’t work helps you to know what does. However uncomfortable it may feel that is the way in which to go. Only through discomfort can we grow. Staying comfortable keeps you in sameness. No change. No gain. Be the change for those around you to be able to follow your example. Be the leader for those in you own life –like a pebble in the pond– start the ripple effect. This was a year of profound change. Keep it going –to increase the ripples. To affect more and more people. Some will follow, some will not, but do not stop. Keep striding forward for all to see. Be the beacon of light.

The discomfort is all the ways in which you play small, make yourself small and stay small. It is now time to be seen. Be heard. Allow your magnificence to shine. For most of us shining is uncomfortable. Putting ourselves out there. Revealing our true essence is to be vulnerable. Only through healing our shame, past traumas and hurts that we have held on to like a security blanket of excuses to be small.

This shift of consciousness is not allowing us to play small. These downloads of ascension energy is all about sharing our light. This is hard work, which is why we are called Lightworkers. The ways in which to fully embrace our light is to heal. Heal those parts of you that hold you down. Abraham Hicks gave us the Emotional Scale. Where are you on it? If you are still in fear, grief, powerlessness, criticism and judgement, then you cannot ascend. You must heal those parts of you through forgiveness and gratitude, and that will allow you to ascend…ultimately to live in joy, love and gratitude through compassion for everyone-nirvana.

Will we get there? We are having a human experience with all the trappings of a human condition. Doing our best in every moment will get us there. Learning what our triggers are so that we can heal those parts or ourselves and holding compassion for everyone around us.

This does not mean that we will or can “fix” anyone else. But by being the Beacons of Light and modeling the best versions of ourselves, we can help others. We can show others that they can achieve balance, grace and inner happiness. Letting go of the “ego” in ourselves is so important. Achieving inner happiness, connecting with our Divinity and modeling living in higher consciousness does not make us better, only coming into a version of what a New Human will be.

This is work. This is energy being transformed. Through this process taking time alone, taking time to heal, getting help with the healing as needed will take time. Be gentle with yourself. Let what falls away fall away. Accept what appears. You will transform your tribe, your environment, and yourself through this metamorphosis. It will change you completely. Know that it is supposed to. Where you are going and what you will be focused on will be your journey alone and that is ok. Let those around you be where they are on their journey and know that being the model for them is the best way to help them, even if you have to let them go.

Distracting yourself by running from or ignoring the messages and lessons will only prolong the process by bringing you obstacles and challenges to be overcome that teach a lesson. Your purpose is for you and you will be brought back to it each time you need to be. It is up to you how long you want the metamorphosis to take. Following the inspiration and opportunities that are presented, no matter how uncomfortable, will speed up the process. For some you will need to “bump your nose” more than once to receive the message. It is your choice.

You are the beacon of light. Blessings, M xo

R101: What is Self-Worth?


The sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect: self-worth as defined by Dictionary.com. Growing up this was not a concept I was familiar with or how impactful it was in my life, the not knowing what it was or how it was affecting me. I was an only child until the age of five. I was abused and neglected from my earliest memory. This would shape every relationship around me by acting one of two ways with people: being quiet or overly pleasing. Everyone liked me this way, but they did not know the real me. I learned to not get noticed by not speaking up and staying in the background, observing but not interacting. In being pleasing, everyone thought I was easy going and solicitous. I learned how to anticipate and fulfill needs so that everyone was happy and taken care of around me. I gave, I did, I was…what everyone wanted me to be: easy, quiet, helpful….never myself.

Internalizing my needs lead me to overeat and be depressed. I had dreams and wanted to be more than I was expected to be or do. I was only supported in what others felt would keep me in their expected realm. Because I had always played it safe and done what they wanted, breaking free and being me was not allowed. And to some extent, I did not know who I was. It would take years of searching and learning all the lessons most learn in their early years of human connection and relationship. I had been busy taking care of others that I had not figured anything out about myself. It would take decades to recoup those lost years of learning who I was and gaining any self-esteem.

I had no concept of self-worth…loving myself. I felt wrong. Never comfortable in my own skin. I was told I was loved. But I never felt it. I had been conditioned very early that my needs were not important and that stayed with me for a long time. That feeling of unworthiness was given to me by damaged parents and those feelings stayed with me and affected all of my decisions for decades. I did not feel respected for any decisions that I made from my support system. All of my life decisions were met with fear and very little support. My partners, my career, or any choice I made was scoffed at or met with minimal support with the fear that I would fail. And somewhere in me, I had internalized these expectations of failure due to the traumas I had experienced that reinforced the feelings of not deserving to achieve. The desire to achieve drove me to trying to reach my goals with everything in me, but always just missing the goal. Losing over and over again relationships, jobs, living situations, and cars; thereby reinforcing for others the idea that my decisions were always the wrong one. Not achieving the safety and security that I craved.

Recognizing were you internalized feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness may take work through therapeutic care, counseling or diving deep in you own story; and some may need past-life regression or some type of energy work to route out traumas that are buried deep in your sub-conscious. I have done all of it and it was through Integrated Energy Therapy that I received the most beneficial healing to my self-worth. Finding the self-love, respect and self-esteem that I never had. This is the hardest and most beneficial work that you can do for yourself. Learning how to love yourself will raise your vibrational frequency in a way that will begin you interacting in the Universe in a profound way. And, this will not allow you to spiral back to old patterns that kept you playing small or choosing situations that will hurt you.

You become part of the matrix of the Divine, God-Consciousness that is available to all. Manifesting your desires and achieving your goals, being happy is why we are here on planet Earth, to be happy and have a joy filled experience. Loving yourself for your talents and gifts takes healing and releasing any guilt associated with doing for yourself. Let go and let God. Be happy. Looks so different on the other side of trauma. I pray you get here. Blessings, M xo

melissalwatkins.com/services

https://www.sheilatillich.com/integrated_energy_therapy

R101: The “F” Word Explained

We talk a lot about healing our wounds. Letting things go. Walking away. Forgetting the past. But let us be honest, it is NOT that easy. Relationships are messy on a good day, and on a bad day, it takes on a whole new meaning when any one of these things are said to you. Not helping, or as my kid would say, “not ta-daey!”

The absolute lowest that we can feel is fear, guilt, shame, unworthiness, despair and powerlessness. These are deep seeded emotions, usually old, given to us before the age of five now residing in our Solar Plexus chakra and others and rooted in our subconscious affecting all of our current decision making, whether we realize it or not. And for most of us, we do NOT. We have conditioned ourselves by these old beliefs to keep ourselves protected (ego).

Self-sabotaging our loves, jobs, friendships, and more. By believing that we are not good enough or do not deserve at our core, keeps us playing ‘small’ not taking the Leap of Faith every time it is presented because we are convinced we will fail. And, we fail. It can be no other way. If you believe that you can’t, then you can’t. However, if you believe you can, then you CAN.

How do you get there? That is where the “F” word comes in. Forgiveness: letting go of the past decisions, relationships and situations that are holding you back because you are actively holding on to wanting things to be different. Your memory plays tricks on you, especially when you are holding on to woulda, coulda, shoulda scenarios that you play over and over in your mind. Or, you are suppressing the feelings because they are to painful to bring out into the light of day to be examined. When we have experienced a traumatic incident: abuse or neglect in some way, our psyche tries to protect us by pushing “it” down. However, in both these situation, it will resurface at some point in your life to be recognized and released.

Recognizing “it” means looking closely at the suppressed memory, person, situation that has made you feel bad in some way. This is the painful part because to truly see someone or a situation as hurtful as it was can be traumatic in its own way because you also become self-aware in the part that you played in allowing it to continue or allowing it to stay hidden. This is the releasing.

Releasing through forgiving yourself for whatever part you played, or anyone else who negatively impacted your situation. Also, recognizing that we all are doing the best we can in the moment. And forgiving you and them for making the decisions that they made at the time that they made them. And this releases you!

You get to begin new. With new situations, new people, new relationship with yourself first and then others. Becoming self-aware helps you to heal yourself. And this healing will transform you. And this healing will raise your vibrational frequency. Raising your vibrational frequency will draw new higher vibrational relationships and situations into your life without you having to search for a thing. And, this new found compassion will allow you to help relationships and situations around you to be better as a result.

Another result is that the lower vibrational situations and relationships will fall away, helping you to not stay in the pattern of self-sabotage that you have help previously. This takes time. Time to recognize and release. Time to love yourself. Time to heal.

At some point you may need help in this process. There will be a point or many points when you need help, please reach out.

Suicide help: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

LGBQ: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Mental Health: https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help

Domestic Abuse: https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/programs/family-violence-prevention-services/programs/ndvh

Integrated Energy Therapy: sheilatillich.com

Reike: melissaLwatkins.com being offered starting Jan 2021 and Energy readings now to help you identify what is being held in.

These are just a few of the ways in which you can reach out…please know that you are NOT alone.

Blessings, M xo