5 Ways to Eliminate Traumas and Dramas

We all have those hurts that are held on to in our thoughts and heart. For some of us, we can not get away from the recurring thoughts that play over and over again in our minds. We call them the woulda, coulda, shouldas…

We could of done this instead…we should of…we would do this differently…revolving on an endless loop in our minds and hearts. We would give anything to try again. We would do anything to get another shot. And, many of these hurts were not even our fault. Something happened that was beyond or control or a decision was made that we had to abide by. We were powerless. This is the most insidious scenario because there is nothing we did to deserve the hurt, so how can we change the outcome? But, we still play it over and over again.

The scenario where we did make a conscious choice to go down a road that had the potential to end badly is where we beat ourselves up the most…because we are convinced on some level that we can go back and make a new choice getting a new outcome. However, it still does not guarantee an outcome that will be beneficial to all.

We put our faith and trust in a person or situation that let us down. They just did…bringing there own hurt and fears into the situation that ended up impacting you negatively….The relationship that took you out at the knees or the job that stepped on you or the friend that dissed you or the family that did not value you. These are our traumas and dramas.

The traumas are the hurts that were done to us. We often times do not see them coming. They traumatize us to similar situations allowing for us to be ‘triggered’ when we do experience a similar situation that has us reacting out of character or over the top because of the previous situation. These can keep recurring for a long period of time if we do not take a look at our decision making and recurring negative patterns in our lives.

The dramas are the stories that we tell ourselves that keep us playing small: not good enough, smart, talented, thin, educated, etc. We create these stories when we other’s tell us or make us feel these certain ways often over a period of time. We internalize these negative feelings because if they say it or do it, it must be so. Often these patterns and stories are created at an early age. It takes years and much reflection to be able to identify them and thus heal them.

Traumas and dramas are a part of every psyche as human beings as we are here to grow and evolve. We cannot do this if we do not step back and reflect on and identify the self-sabotage that we engage in. This takes WORK. There is not way around it and no sugar coating it. We have to do the work to find the inner-happiness and joy that is our right. Yes, I said right! We are here in this life experience at this time to have joy.

  • Reflection: journaling, talking, recording…whatever mode of reflection you are drawn to because once you know where you are only then can you change the behavior.
  • Therapeutic Care: counseling, psychiatrist, pastor, medical doctor, etc.
  • Staying in the Present moment: not dwelling on the past, not projecting into the future.
  • Identifying the “ego:” where is fear or fear based thoughts keeping you making the same choices, telling you to stay in the same lane, or making the same choices expecting a different outcome to transform negative energy into neutral or positive energy.
  • Identify where on the ‘emotional scale’ you fall: bottom (fear), middle (optimistic), top (positive expectation) to move up the scale towards the top.

It is time to move forward. It is time to be happy. It is time to do the work!

Blessings, M xo

Check out my services tab to learn more about Integrated Energy Therapy® to help you heal your energetic body from traumas and dramas that are locked in at the cellular level to begin to peel back the layers of hurt that is holding you back from experiencing the joy that is your due. M xo

How to Stop Sneaky Self-Sabotage

OH Good Lord! I was out with my kid getting breakfast and I walked into the diner and looked around and I caught the eye of an attractive, age appropriate gentleman sitting in the back booth by himself…and the first thought I had was ‘there is nothing here for you.’

After a year of being home, visiting minimally with family and having meetings via Zoom and other social media platforms, being out and actually meeting new people…well, it has been a while. And being single through this has been a challenge. Having my faith, family and fortitude, I have persevered through maintaining connections using text, email and video calls.

However meeting anyone new stopped being a concern, so I put that on hold. And, it seems that staying in my comfort zone brought up old insecurities and fears. My mental body, unconscious part of me came up with a safety mechanism to keep me from triggering the old pattern of unworthiness: not deserving or able to receive love.

Thoughts that we have like the one I had in that split second of eye contact are unconscious ones. On that day, I realized I had been hearing that phrase in my head every time I was making eye contact with an attractive, age appropriate guy because of my deep seeded self-sabotage around meeting eligible men, being loved, or having any positive emotional experience.

UGH! During this past year, I have done a lot of work becoming conscious and healing this part of myself. I have been working on actually manifesting a new positive relationship experience. Realizing that in the past month, the phrase ‘there isn’t anything for you here’ had been coming up each time I was noticed was frustrating and maddening to say the least.

In being able to observe my thoughts, I caught this new self-sabotaging pattern that was emerging. But, where did it come from? So for me, struggling with self-worth has started very young. I did not feel seen or heard from a very young age and that contributed to my inability to be seen or heard for my gifts and talents as I became an adult. My mission became to help everyone else, make sure everyone else was safe and secure, and to give everything I had to make everyone else’s experience the best it could possibly be. I gave way to much of my energy, resources and myself to others. I became the ultimate people-pleaser.

For someone to see me as anything else is uncomfortable. It triggers my fear of not being good enough, pretty enough, societal standard enough, talented enough, quiet enough, _____________________fill in the blank enough.

Because I have been doing the work, to

Recognize,

Release and

Restore myself over this last three years or so, I have been able to quickly identify when I am back sliding into old behaviors and patterns that no longer serve me. We carry many traumas and dramas that take time and layers to heal. This made me stand up and take notice that I still have work to do in my Unworthiness wound.

  • Staying present
  • Observing your thoughts
  • Being honest about why the thoughts are arising
  • Don’t attach any negative emotion to the thought pattern
  • Let the thought go when it arises

These patterns arise because your ‘ego’ is trying to keep you “safe,” unfortunately, its version of safe is the “same.” Where you have been, what your old patterns have been, not where you are going. Staying conscious and present to your thoughts will help you to keep moving forward and not allowing the self-sabotage to win!

Please look at my past blogs on Recognize, Release and Restore for more information on how I have learned to keep working through healing those parts of ourselves that need it.

And, always my Services tab will provide ways to work with me. Blessings, M xo