Beacon of Light

Today is a day of reflection. Only through reflection can we know where we are going. Take time to look at what has been, recognizing, realizing an learning what doesn’t work helps you to know what does. However uncomfortable it may feel that is the way in which to go. Only through discomfort can we grow. Staying comfortable keeps you in sameness. No change. No gain. Be the change for those around you to be able to follow your example. Be the leader for those in you own life –like a pebble in the pond– start the ripple effect. This was a year of profound change. Keep it going –to increase the ripples. To affect more and more people. Some will follow, some will not, but do not stop. Keep striding forward for all to see. Be the beacon of light.

The discomfort is all the ways in which you play small, make yourself small and stay small. It is now time to be seen. Be heard. Allow your magnificence to shine. For most of us shining is uncomfortable. Putting ourselves out there. Revealing our true essence is to be vulnerable. Only through healing our shame, past traumas and hurts that we have held on to like a security blanket of excuses to be small.

This shift of consciousness is not allowing us to play small. These downloads of ascension energy is all about sharing our light. This is hard work, which is why we are called Lightworkers. The ways in which to fully embrace our light is to heal. Heal those parts of you that hold you down. Abraham Hicks gave us the Emotional Scale. Where are you on it? If you are still in fear, grief, powerlessness, criticism and judgement, then you cannot ascend. You must heal those parts of you through forgiveness and gratitude, and that will allow you to ascend…ultimately to live in joy, love and gratitude through compassion for everyone-nirvana.

Will we get there? We are having a human experience with all the trappings of a human condition. Doing our best in every moment will get us there. Learning what our triggers are so that we can heal those parts or ourselves and holding compassion for everyone around us.

This does not mean that we will or can “fix” anyone else. But by being the Beacons of Light and modeling the best versions of ourselves, we can help others. We can show others that they can achieve balance, grace and inner happiness. Letting go of the “ego” in ourselves is so important. Achieving inner happiness, connecting with our Divinity and modeling living in higher consciousness does not make us better, only coming into a version of what a New Human will be.

This is work. This is energy being transformed. Through this process taking time alone, taking time to heal, getting help with the healing as needed will take time. Be gentle with yourself. Let what falls away fall away. Accept what appears. You will transform your tribe, your environment, and yourself through this metamorphosis. It will change you completely. Know that it is supposed to. Where you are going and what you will be focused on will be your journey alone and that is ok. Let those around you be where they are on their journey and know that being the model for them is the best way to help them, even if you have to let them go.

Distracting yourself by running from or ignoring the messages and lessons will only prolong the process by bringing you obstacles and challenges to be overcome that teach a lesson. Your purpose is for you and you will be brought back to it each time you need to be. It is up to you how long you want the metamorphosis to take. Following the inspiration and opportunities that are presented, no matter how uncomfortable, will speed up the process. For some you will need to “bump your nose” more than once to receive the message. It is your choice.

You are the beacon of light. Blessings, M xo

R101: What is Self-Worth?


The sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect: self-worth as defined by Dictionary.com. Growing up this was not a concept I was familiar with or how impactful it was in my life, the not knowing what it was or how it was affecting me. I was an only child until the age of five. I was abused and neglected from my earliest memory. This would shape every relationship around me by acting one of two ways with people: being quiet or overly pleasing. Everyone liked me this way, but they did not know the real me. I learned to not get noticed by not speaking up and staying in the background, observing but not interacting. In being pleasing, everyone thought I was easy going and solicitous. I learned how to anticipate and fulfill needs so that everyone was happy and taken care of around me. I gave, I did, I was…what everyone wanted me to be: easy, quiet, helpful….never myself.

Internalizing my needs lead me to overeat and be depressed. I had dreams and wanted to be more than I was expected to be or do. I was only supported in what others felt would keep me in their expected realm. Because I had always played it safe and done what they wanted, breaking free and being me was not allowed. And to some extent, I did not know who I was. It would take years of searching and learning all the lessons most learn in their early years of human connection and relationship. I had been busy taking care of others that I had not figured anything out about myself. It would take decades to recoup those lost years of learning who I was and gaining any self-esteem.

I had no concept of self-worth…loving myself. I felt wrong. Never comfortable in my own skin. I was told I was loved. But I never felt it. I had been conditioned very early that my needs were not important and that stayed with me for a long time. That feeling of unworthiness was given to me by damaged parents and those feelings stayed with me and affected all of my decisions for decades. I did not feel respected for any decisions that I made from my support system. All of my life decisions were met with fear and very little support. My partners, my career, or any choice I made was scoffed at or met with minimal support with the fear that I would fail. And somewhere in me, I had internalized these expectations of failure due to the traumas I had experienced that reinforced the feelings of not deserving to achieve. The desire to achieve drove me to trying to reach my goals with everything in me, but always just missing the goal. Losing over and over again relationships, jobs, living situations, and cars; thereby reinforcing for others the idea that my decisions were always the wrong one. Not achieving the safety and security that I craved.

Recognizing were you internalized feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness may take work through therapeutic care, counseling or diving deep in you own story; and some may need past-life regression or some type of energy work to route out traumas that are buried deep in your sub-conscious. I have done all of it and it was through Integrated Energy Therapy that I received the most beneficial healing to my self-worth. Finding the self-love, respect and self-esteem that I never had. This is the hardest and most beneficial work that you can do for yourself. Learning how to love yourself will raise your vibrational frequency in a way that will begin you interacting in the Universe in a profound way. And, this will not allow you to spiral back to old patterns that kept you playing small or choosing situations that will hurt you.

You become part of the matrix of the Divine, God-Consciousness that is available to all. Manifesting your desires and achieving your goals, being happy is why we are here on planet Earth, to be happy and have a joy filled experience. Loving yourself for your talents and gifts takes healing and releasing any guilt associated with doing for yourself. Let go and let God. Be happy. Looks so different on the other side of trauma. I pray you get here. Blessings, M xo

melissalwatkins.com/services

https://www.sheilatillich.com/integrated_energy_therapy

R101: The “F” Word Explained

We talk a lot about healing our wounds. Letting things go. Walking away. Forgetting the past. But let us be honest, it is NOT that easy. Relationships are messy on a good day, and on a bad day, it takes on a whole new meaning when any one of these things are said to you. Not helping, or as my kid would say, “not ta-daey!”

The absolute lowest that we can feel is fear, guilt, shame, unworthiness, despair and powerlessness. These are deep seeded emotions, usually old, given to us before the age of five now residing in our Solar Plexus chakra and others and rooted in our subconscious affecting all of our current decision making, whether we realize it or not. And for most of us, we do NOT. We have conditioned ourselves by these old beliefs to keep ourselves protected (ego).

Self-sabotaging our loves, jobs, friendships, and more. By believing that we are not good enough or do not deserve at our core, keeps us playing ‘small’ not taking the Leap of Faith every time it is presented because we are convinced we will fail. And, we fail. It can be no other way. If you believe that you can’t, then you can’t. However, if you believe you can, then you CAN.

How do you get there? That is where the “F” word comes in. Forgiveness: letting go of the past decisions, relationships and situations that are holding you back because you are actively holding on to wanting things to be different. Your memory plays tricks on you, especially when you are holding on to woulda, coulda, shoulda scenarios that you play over and over in your mind. Or, you are suppressing the feelings because they are to painful to bring out into the light of day to be examined. When we have experienced a traumatic incident: abuse or neglect in some way, our psyche tries to protect us by pushing “it” down. However, in both these situation, it will resurface at some point in your life to be recognized and released.

Recognizing “it” means looking closely at the suppressed memory, person, situation that has made you feel bad in some way. This is the painful part because to truly see someone or a situation as hurtful as it was can be traumatic in its own way because you also become self-aware in the part that you played in allowing it to continue or allowing it to stay hidden. This is the releasing.

Releasing through forgiving yourself for whatever part you played, or anyone else who negatively impacted your situation. Also, recognizing that we all are doing the best we can in the moment. And forgiving you and them for making the decisions that they made at the time that they made them. And this releases you!

You get to begin new. With new situations, new people, new relationship with yourself first and then others. Becoming self-aware helps you to heal yourself. And this healing will transform you. And this healing will raise your vibrational frequency. Raising your vibrational frequency will draw new higher vibrational relationships and situations into your life without you having to search for a thing. And, this new found compassion will allow you to help relationships and situations around you to be better as a result.

Another result is that the lower vibrational situations and relationships will fall away, helping you to not stay in the pattern of self-sabotage that you have help previously. This takes time. Time to recognize and release. Time to love yourself. Time to heal.

At some point you may need help in this process. There will be a point or many points when you need help, please reach out.

Suicide help: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

LGBQ: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Mental Health: https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help

Domestic Abuse: https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/programs/family-violence-prevention-services/programs/ndvh

Integrated Energy Therapy: sheilatillich.com

Reike: melissaLwatkins.com being offered starting Jan 2021 and Energy readings now to help you identify what is being held in.

These are just a few of the ways in which you can reach out…please know that you are NOT alone.

Blessings, M xo