img_1120-1 I lay in bed shivering, trying to get warm snuggled under the blanket that is on top of the comforter and neither are doing the job.  I am alone in my house, but I am afraid to get up and blow dry my wet hair and turn on the heat.

For a moment, I lay there freezing until I realize that I can change my circumstance.  Five minutes under the blow dryer and one flip of the heat switch. Why was I not relieving myself of my misery?

I grew up taking care of my four siblings and attending to their needs daily.  I was in a relationship for years, where I had to take care of him and our daughter daily.  I was a single mother for years, giving up my freedoms and needs to make sure my daughter had a full and varied life.  I continued to take care of my families’ needs as they arose, and I allowed them safe harbor when they needed a place to land, providing safety and security with my own resources.

We can go through life unconscious the the decisions we are making that do not serve us.  As a people pleaser, I was always putting everyone else’s needs before my own.  Which found me in this absurd situation, in my own home with all the resources I needed to make myself comfortable, and it still took me moments of being really uncomfortable before it occurred to me to relieve my discomfort!

As ridiculous as it seems, I felt empowered to have 1. realized my situation and 2. the ability to change it.

Empowering ourselves as women does not come naturally to most of us.  Coming from a disempowering household growing up or through learned behavior in adult relationships, we have to learn it is OK to speak or truth and fight for what we need.  I will help you on your journey as we go forth together finding our power.

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~Melissa xo