You met a guy and you are smitten. You want to get to know him. The texting and calling become daily. Your friend each other on all your Social Media. Days become weeks and weeks become months. He is attentive. He takes you places. He is ok to just hang out. He likes all the things you like. The two of you talk about nothing on the phone all night long, or you FaceTime all night. You are wondering what is the next step: moving in, engagement or maybe co-habitating at each others’ places. You are thinking that the search is over, you have found the one.
Love is grand. It changes how you see the world. Everything is lovely. You see everything from the ‘glass is half full’ view. People are nicer. Your clothes fit better. Your food tastes better. Your chores seem easier. Life is beautiful.
You text, “Hey baby, what time are you coming over?” And, the response text messages start to become more like, “Hey girl, I’ll catch you later.” You let it go, hoping to hear from him later. Later becomes tomorrow and tomorrow becomes the weekend. You wait and hope, checking your phone a hundred times and hour. Your attention is half on your task or the person talking to you because your total focus is on waiting on some acknowledgment from him: a text, a like, a comment or a call. This goes on for months. And one day…it just stops. You don’t know why he isn’t communicating and has blocked you on all his social media.
Your hurt, angry and feeling lost. You have no closure.
Ladies, ladies, ladies…stand in your power. Do NOT let anyone control your emotions like this. It is disrespectful. And, this is NOT love.
Your must have boundaries in all your relationships, but most importantly in romantic relationships. If you don’t, then it comes off as you not respecting yourself…and this allows your partner to disrespect you!
It is ok to say no. It is ok to have a prior commitment. It is ok to hang out with your girlfriends on a Saturday night. It is ok to stay home and take a bath. It is ok to still be you and staying true to your likes, comforts and routines while in a relationship…in any stage. AND…NO is a complete sentence. It is ok to do you as needed. You do not have to justify or explain yourself to anyone… be powerful!!
Boundaries are necessary to your health, emotional well-being and spiritual development. Setting limits and sticking to them will allow you to have respectful and healthy relationships all around, giving you peace of mind and the knowledge if they can’t play by your rules, then they need to step off of your play ground!