I was seeing a guy for eight months.
[He broke it off unexpectedly?]
Yes, we haven’t been together
in two months.
[You have had no communication?]
He texted me last week, but didn’t reply to my response.
So many calls from women who are breaking their own hearts. And, what does that mean? As hard as it is to let go of the idea of someone or that someone in your life, if they have left the relationship then they have moved on and are not connected to you. Women talk about feeling a ‘connection’ with someone and not being able to let that go.
The reality is that it takes two, who are both working on the relationship to make it work everyday. Relationships are not able to thrive in a positive way without real effort on both parties parts. One side relationships will fail 100% of the time.
Relationships need two elements: love and trust. Once those have been established then you have the three C’s: communication, compromise and commitment. But without love and trust the three C’s do NOT matter. You have to have the foundation on which to build. For us women, he needs to be able to express his feelings and provide the sense of trust or the relationship cannot thrive or survive.
No amount of ‘connection’ matters without the sustained effort on both parts. You and he must want to and work for the relationship every single day. Only through sustained effort can there be a real ‘connection.’
If you are not feeling the real effort from your partner, walk!
Respect yourself enough to require love and trust, on which you can build from there.
Equation for real, sustained relationship: love and trust through communication, compromise and commitment with both parties willing to do the work.